Well friends, I have completed my first week back to work as a new mom and am 1 day into the second week. While everything is fine, and I am glad to be back at work (ask Izaac, apparently I don’t do so well at home with no schedule ;-), last week definitely had me thinking. Thinking about my job; thinking about what I really want to do; thinking about the best way to balance a career and being a mom. Just plain thinking.
If I am honest, this thinking started well over a year ago and came to a head during my maternity leave. Last week just confirmed I was right. Every day I was glad to be working, glad to have a job and to finally have a paycheck again; however, I wasn’t so glad over my job. While I started off loving my job, something has fizzled in the last two years. Last week I caught myself thinking over and over again “why am I leaving my beautiful baby boy for a job that my heart is not in?” I do training and education, this I love, if it was only this. However, my ultimate goal is to do whatever it takes to make more product sales for the company. I am not a sales rep, but most days it feels like that. I don’t want the stress of meeting goals and budgets that are making someone else lots of money. Yes, it allows me to have a nice paycheck but there has to be more.
So where does this leave me? Enrolled in school again! I am going to become a nurse. The medical field has always called to me. In fact, for as long as I can remember I wanted to be a doctor. This plan died somewhere during my sophomore/junior year of college when I realized I did not have the drive or the passion that every other pre-med student had and probably would not make it through med school without it. I did a lot of soul searching during that time, and it was the absolute right decision for me. However, the desire to help people has never left me. I have actually toyed with going back to nursing school on and off since I graduated college (almost 15 years ago!! Gasp) but was never ready to actually go back to school. Now I am.
Because what better time is there to start school than when you have a 3 month old and just started back to work full time?! I am scared, feel slightly insane but never the less, am very excited. I am taking 3 online classes now to satisfy some general electives that didn’t transfer. Start my science pre-reqs in Jan (because science credits only last 7 years) and hopefully start nursing school full time in Aug. At that time, I will have to quit my job for the next 15 months. That is another whole set of problems, one less person bringing in the money.
Why now? Why not! There is never going to be an easier time. Kian will always need me. I figure it is time to bite the bullet and get it over with. Wish me luck!!!
p.s. Don’t be offended if I don’t keep up with your blogs as much :-)
p.s.s. I have created a Kian blog for those of you that want to keep up with him. Dearestgrandparents.blogspot.com
p.s.s.s. I am 90% sure I am also going to run the Las Vegas half marathon in December. Why not!?